Ok so its as if Im oblivious to the world that surrounds me?
Paul is amazing, Has great personality, looks to kill and is the sweetest of sweethearts in the 2009 competition, I recently shared my former fondness towards him just before he flew away. I must say he had me confused. Challenged. Something that never happens to me. NOT because Im brooke shields, but because I very rarely sit down with someone to discuss how great they are and how much I would like to get to know them personally.(girls you know what I mean right here?) I was made to feel,after being told that I was "one of seven girls" who had also expressed thier love for amazing Paul (Paul was about to leave for a 4month trip, he'll be back before christmas) rather basic. but my issue here was in my conversation with paul, I felt the need to really guard my true feelings in the fear of being tread upon. Doing so was an Idea, one that I am happy with. Paul is in contact with me still we talk on facebook chat and I comment on one or two pictures of his amazing trip. he then drops a question "what you say if I asked you out?" to my suprise I have obiviously made the semi finals and must be now at least one of 3 girls. I childishly repliled "no because you were mean to me when we had the conversation" Sorry but a childish question should at times be responded with a childish answer. Paul seemed rather disappointed at my response. "But I made time to see you before I left, I let you come to my house" I responded saying that I was joking and that tones can not be always picked up in facebook messages..but what I really should have said was, "You said I was one of seven?" "you twist everything to make it look like Im deeply in love with you"
But when you are fond of someone, well as much as I am you tend to step on glass..
He then said "I just want to know where I stand" I thought to myself. hopefully you realise your standing somewhere on the other side of the world..
I then sent a message, explaining to him that I really would say yes and Its hard for me to see that you do possibly like me back..and just my luck..and his continual disappointment...he went offline...
